Horse Blog
Oooh - Misses Big Stuff - "Tsunami"
So, just because you are probably going to turn out to be the biggest horse of all time does not mean you are special. In fact, being big is way over-rated in my opinion.
See here. Tina thinks she is misses big stuff now just because she is so big. Well, I got news for you, being a big horse is not all that great. Not that I would know first hand, but I've got some big friends and let me tell you, life is not easy for a big horse.
For one thing, how easy do you think it is to find a saddle that fits? Hmm? Yeah, not easy at all. Fact is big stuff like that is expensive and it never fits right. I hear humans talking about having to shop in the big and tall section. Try shopping in the "holy-crap-thats-a-big-horse-" section. Here's a hint, there is no such section in the tack shop. Try finding a 60" girth strap next time you go in, it's like trying to find a 60" belt for your blue jeans.
And another thing, if you fed me five pounds of carrots every week like they feed Tina I'd probably be nineteen hands tall too! I mean c'mon, that is just excessive. Share the wealth Tina! Gosh!
One last point I'd like to make before I go. You ever seen a somebody riding in or on something they are really too big for? It looks rediculous, and painful doesn't it? Now try getting Tina in horse trailer. Here is what you'll need: 1) Five pound bucket of vasoline, 2) Industrial size tongs, 3) Carrots, 4) Rope. You might also want a lab coat cause it ain't gonna be pretty. You definitely don't want her eating in transit either, because you'll never get her back out without the jaws of life.
Now, don't get me wrong - I'm no hater. I'm proud of Tina and all. It's not easy to eat and eat and eat and eat until you are so gigantic that you really can't do anything but block out the sun. You know why they are trying to get her into Guiness? Because that's really all she's good for now.
But truth be told, I like big girls like that. I mean, you got to have some meat on you. I hate these bony girls with their ribs all showing and stuff. It's just nasty. But like in Barber shop, there is a difference between a girl with a big behind and a big behinded woman. Tina, you are on the fence for me girl, but good luck to you on the pie eating contest.
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